For the Child Who Won’t Let You Brush Their Hair

Four lines you can say out loud tonight. Word for word. Free to save.

What to say

1. Hair gets brushed before we leave. Three strokes and we’re done.

2. The brush pulls and your head is sensitive in the morning, and you aren’t being dramatic.

3. I start at the ends, hold the top with my hand, and work up in small sections.

4. You hold the mirror and tell me when to stop. Then you pick the clip.

When to use it

This is for the moment it actually goes wrong — not the calm version you rehearse in the car. Pick one line. Say it once. Then stop talking and wait three seconds. If they push back, repeat the same line, not a new one. Say the same thing for five nights before you decide it doesn't work.