For the Cold Morning When the Coat Stays Off

Four lines you can say out loud tonight. Word for word. Free to save.

What to say

1. It’s cold out, so the coat goes on before the door opens.

2. The coat is heavy and it makes your arms feel stuck, and that feeling is real.

3. I hold the coat open behind you and you push both arms in at the same time.

4. You can take it off in the car. It goes back on before we get out.

When to use it

This is for the moment it actually goes wrong — not the calm version you rehearse in the car. Pick one line. Say it once. Then stop talking and wait three seconds. If they push back, repeat the same line, not a new one. Say the same thing for five nights before you decide it doesn't work.