For When You Just Turn It Off With No Warning

Four lines you can say out loud tonight. Word for word. Free to save.

What to say

1. The credits are the warning. I don’t count down and I don’t ask twice.

2. This part is the worst part. It ends right when it finally got good.

3. I hold the remote. You press the button the second the music starts.

4. Then we’re both in the kitchen, and you pick the snack.

When to use it

This is for the moment it actually goes wrong — not the calm version you rehearse in the car. Pick one line. Say it once. Then stop talking and wait three seconds. If they push back, repeat the same line, not a new one. Say the same thing for five nights before you decide it doesn't work.