For When Guests Arrive in Twenty Minutes

Four lines you can say out loud tonight. Word for word. Free to save.

What to say

1. Guests come in twenty minutes, so this is a fast cleanup, not a careful one.

2. Fast and messy is uncomfortable when you like things done right.

3. Everything on the floor goes in the hall closet, no sorting, ten minutes.

4. You take the living room, I take the kitchen, and we meet at the door.

When to use it

This is for the moment it actually goes wrong — not the calm version you rehearse in the car. Pick one line. Say it once. Then stop talking and wait three seconds. If they push back, repeat the same line, not a new one. Say the same thing for five nights before you decide it doesn't work.